A FEW THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING ME, STARTING WITH SEPTEMBER

I know everyone pretends that they love September, but it’s a month that creeps me out.

It signals the end of everything that’s fun.

My grandmother, who spoke no English, used to say this about September:

“September is the month when flowers, leaves and old people die.”

Grandma was a barrel of laughs.

As I said last year, I’m at that age where I misplace everything.

This year, somehow, I seem to have misplaced summer.

It was here a minute ago.

What happened?

The days have dwindled down to a precious few and as best as I can remember, Memorial Day was just a few hours ago.

Now Labor Day is a few hours away from ending this summer.

At my age I’m discovering my biggest enemy is not the clock, but the calendar.

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NATURALLY, THE OTHER THING THAT’S BOTHERING ME IS TRUMP

Donald Trump will run for president in 2028.

He will be 82 years old but of course he will lie about his age.

I know, according to the 22nd Amendment, he’s not supposed to run for a third term.

But if you believe that this will stop him, you probably still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Trump will claim that since he really won the 2020 election and it was stolen,

he must run now to undo what Joe Biden did to America in the years when he,Trump, would have been making America great.

He will insist he must run again to keep up the wonderful work he’s been doing as President from 2024 until 2028.

Plus, he must run because the Democrats must be stopped from running AOC, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or some other a Commie who will destroy the country if they win.

Before you dismiss this idea, tell me who YOU would vote for in a contest of Trump vs AOC.

I won’t vote the country I love into a hell caused by both weak and stupid Republicans and Democrats.

Sadly, I must throw my late, wonderful parents, who loved this country, under the bus.

I plan to tell ICE the truth about my parents, who were illegal immigrants 112 years ago, when they came to the United States. And since Trump clearly has no respect for the 14th amendment nor the constitution and he hates Birthright Citizens, ICE should deport me to Italy where I can live in a country with a great, beautiful Prime Minister, Ms. Giorgia Meloni, who’s 5 times the man Trump will ever be.

When Donald Trump loses the election of 2028, no matter who he runs against, he will claim he won it.

There will be riots in the streets.

There will be millions of texts breaking down the internet.

And finally, the entire world will grow sick of listening to his monotonous, ponderous voice that has pounded this country into the ground.

It’s the voice of a bully who is complaining he is being picked on.

It’s the voice of every loser.

It’s the anguished voice of a man who has just heard from his wife that the reason she is leaving him after their 17-year marriage is because he is a loser.

It’s the loser voice of a 58-year-old man telling the human resources director of his company how he never had a chance to be promoted and why he resents being

fired at this time of his life.

It‘s the voice of Donald Trump – a voice without charm, filled with fake braggadocio.

It’s the voice of Donald Trump, smug and scared at the same time.

It’s the voice of that bully in the schoolyard you thought you had escaped years ago.

It’s the voice that infuriates the 78 million people who hate him.

It’s the voice that sadly ignites the 35 million people who love him.

And what the dopey Democrats will do if they win in 2028 is to once again make this crazy, stupid con man into a martyr.

They should take a lesson from those wonderful Bela Lugosi Dracula movies of the 1930’s.

They never put Dracula into a jail. They drove a wooden stake through his heart.

Losing the election of 2028 will not drive a stake through Donald Trump’s malevolent heart.

And no, we won’t have a civil war as a result. It will be worse.

The United States will slowly turn into another Central America, another Venezuela,

Another Cuba.

Maybe you’ll agree with me that this is a presidential election that is all about disgusting politicians fooling people.

And many innocent, good people fooling themselves.

 So who will be the biggest losers of the Presidential election of 2028?

You and me.

No wonder I can’t sleep.

 WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT

A teacher when asked to explain communism, socialism and fascism to his students said this…

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government and they may give you some milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government and the government sells it.

NAZISM: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Keep both cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Sell one, buy a bull.