WHEN OLD PEOPLE TAKE OVER THE WORLD

Do you want to live in a Bernie Sanders world where everything will be free except freedom?

I don’t.

This is our chance for old people to take over the world.

Those of us who are fed up and won’t take it anymore are coming into power.

According to the world’s greatest authority on old people, Michael W. Hodin, CEO of the Global Coalition on Aging, the world’s 60+ population is set to double to 2 billion between now and the next few years, with a combined spending power well in excess of $15 trillion.

Do you know what that means?

Old people over 60 are the only hope to save this country from turning towards communism.

The Millennials and the Gen Z young people have voted in slick talking Commies like Zohran Mandani as Mayor of New York City, and dopy AOC who is planning to someday run for President and let’s not forget that disgusting Jew-hating pig, Darializa Avila Chevalier.

That’s just New York and California you say… Wrong . Progressive politicians are preaching hatred of Jews and free everything. (medicine food health care). And the young people ages 18 to 30 all over the United States are falling for it with their votes

They like the Idea of taxing every penny from millionaires and billionaires.

Have you ever noticed the one billionaire the Commies never mention, the one billionaire whose money they won’t take away with their taxes?

It’s George Soros, the Commie billionaire who donates millions to Progressive politicians because, like them, he won’t rest until communism comes to destroy the United States.

Here’s an old thought that young people haven’t seen

.

If there was a barnyard election, the cows, pigs, and chickens would always vote for the person who feeds them and gives them treats, even though that same person is going to slaughter them someday.

That same philosophy is the very definition of socialism.

“If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools.”

-Plato

People over 70 will have enough votes to decide any election.

We’re talking millions of votes.

The thought of old people having millions of votes is enough to cause a pandering politician like Chuck Schumer to have an orgasm.

It’s time for old people to kick ass.

We’re strong. We’re tough.

We will be the last generation that remembers what it was like to work 8…10…12 hours a day to provide for our families.

It’s time we changed some of the little things that have been bothering us that millennials have been too dumb or too lazy to care about.

What’s first?

Having come back from a short vacation I can report my body has been scalded in showers wherever I have been.

Our first demand is that showers in every home and every hotel in the world – and that includes off-the-wall countries like Uruguay and Kyrgyzstan – should be forced to have the same uniform type of showers, with a faucet marked “HOT” in large letters and another faucet the same size marked “COLD” right next to it. No more high-tech, unmarked, new-fangled mystery faucets that are guaranteed to burn or freeze your body before you can turn them off.

And it’s insane that the floors of showers all over the world are made of marble, which turns slippery the moment it’s touched by a drop of water.

We must demand that every shower floor be a Velcro-type surface to keep a old guy like me from sliding and, quite frankly, almost breaking his ass like I did a few years ago at the incredibly beautiful, ridiculously expensive Hotel Splendido in Portofino, Italy.

And those teeny-weeny bottles of complimentary shampoo and conditioner you find in every shower must be revamped in hotels all over the world.

Here’s why:

You’re in the shower. You have soap in your eyes. You decide to shampoo your hair or, in my case, your beard, and it is impossible to read the word “shampoo,” which is printed in unreadable little type on the little teeny tiny bottle.

What’s more, the top of the little shampoo bottle is cemented on, and so with wet soapy hands it cannot be opened with anything less than an industrial-sized pair of pliers.

And when it’s opened, is it shampoo? Or is it a dreaded mint body wash or mouthwash? Which, once it’s in my beard, will have me smelling like a stick of Wrigley’s mint chewing gum for the rest of the day.

But I’m just getting started.

Do you know what kills more old people than any disease? Broken hips caused by bicycles and those damn electric delivery bikes.

You’re crossing the street, you’ve got the traffic light in your favor, and you’re carefully dodging millennials and

Gen Zer’s who all cross the street with their eyes glued to their cell phones, hypnotized by an Instagram of a kale salad that looks so healthy it’s making them drool all over their stupid chins.

Then WHAM! Some idiot driving his or her bike, going the wrong way on a one-way street, has hit you and now you’re writhing on the street with broken hip – a death penalty for older people.

So, I say any idiot who hits and breaks the hip of anyone over 70 should receive the death penalty.

Or worse, sentence them to 30 days on Rikers Island.

There’s so much more we can do. In the two minutes you just spent reading my rant, more than 500 people in the world turned 70 years old.

Do you know the power this gives us over every disgusting corrupt politician all over the globe?

We own them. So, let’s throw them out of office.

Goodbye Bernie Sanders. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

Now join hands with me as we sing, “WE ARE THE WORLD.”

Final Note:

Let’s hear it for Joey Chestnut who just won the Nathan’ Famous Hot Dog Eating contest.

And I won’t rest until Hot Dog eating become another category in the World Olympics, replacing that stupid Luge.

Joey Chestnut is my idea of a true American Hero. I say let’s put Joey Chestnut’s face on Mount Rushmore before that disaster Trump takes over and has his own face carved on to it.

Speaking of Trump, I think Joey Chestnut should be whisked away from the Coney Island site after his next hot dog eating victory and taken by plane to be honored at the White House.

And frankly, it’s my dream. to someday have Joey Chestnut, throw up all 66 of the hot dogs he just ate on our beloved President.