A RABBI AND A PRIEST…NEED I SAY MORE?

A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a bus.

After a bit, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to the temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandably and remained silent and thinking for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

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THE REST OF THIS COLUMN IS ABOUT TRUMP.

IF YOU DECIDE TO SKIP IT. I WILL UNDERSTAND

Will you be watching Donald Trump’s State of the Union speech tonight?

Neither will I.

Like me, you’re tired of being lied to.

Let’s take Trump’s comment “I can destroy the country with tariffs”, seriously.

As my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, said when she heard it: “Thank you for your service, Mr. President.”

According to the latest poll in February, 60% of the country is open to blaming Trump for everything.

Sooner or later, we must figure out what to do with Trump.

Our world is stuck with him, for the next 2 years and 10months. That’s 1061 days if you’re counting. And I am.

He’s lost every independent voter as well as most middle-of-the-road Republicans.

In 3 years, he will be a fat, old, loser politician with 25 million people in the United States who still think he’s God.

I have a job for Donald Trump for which I think he would be perfect.

And he should take it, so that he still can get all the attention he so desperately needs every minute of every day.

I want Donald Trump to run and win as the next mayor of New York City.

He can “Make New York City Great” again.

Our new police commissioner will be Kash Patel, and he will keep one eye on crime in the Bronx and the other eye on crime in Brooklyn using both eyes at the same time. Our new comptroller will be beautiful, but very crazy, Kristi Noem. And, of course, Rudy Giuliani will be our District Attorney.

Let’s get rid of the amateur, clueless, socialist, bumbling of Mayor Zohran Mamdani and replace it with some good old fashioned intelligent corruption that will make New York City work again.

Trump will get his lifelong wish to become a dictator.

Trump will triple the police force and put an officer in every car of every subway train.

Trump will put those insane people, walking our streets, freezing themselves to death in good old fashioned insane asylums. Nobody knows crazies better than Trump, He’s as nutty as a fruitcake, himself.

Trump will ban bicycles except for weekends and clear the streets. And traffic will move again.

Trump will destroy the teacher’s union, offering school choice and as many charter schools

as people want.

Trump will give anyone caught shoplifting a year in jail. This will be true of every district in New York except for (AOC) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s 14th congressional district where shop lifting will be encouraged until every store moves out.

Trump will great for business.

Restaurants will flourish and be filled, giving needed jobs to hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers. And all he’ll ask from the restaurants is 5% off the top to be quietly given to one of his sons.

Tourists will all come back and Broadway theaters will be sold out.

And all he’ll ask from the Broadway producers is 5% off the top which will go to his other son.

I mentioned my Trump for mayor plan to my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, who shrieked and said it will never work.

She said: “When Mamdani’s plan to take the money and property away from anyone who works for a living and give it to people who won’t work fails; he won’t be able to be elected dogcatcher.”

“And so Andrew Cuomo, who is looking to run for Mayor of New York City as his comeback, will be a candidate for the job. and Cuomo is meaner than a junkyard dog.”

“Trump and Governor Andrew Cuomo are two disgusting bullies who will kill each other.”

“THEY WILL KILL EACH OTHER!” Judy screamed.

“Wouldn’t that be wonderful,” was my answer.