EVERYBODY’S LYING ABOUT THE WAR

Trump is lying.

Iran is lying.

Our Media is lying.

To begin, Trump always lies. What’s left of the leadership of Iran is lying.

But our media?

If you read the New York Post the war was won by Trump the first day.

So why is the war still on?

If you read the New York Times the score is Iran 100 Trump 0

Every single issue of the Times tells how the cost of oil and gasoline makes Iran the winner.

Even the death of one of the worst monsters in Iran, Ali Larijani, the man responsible for the death of thousands of innocent Iranians. Larijani was recently killed by Israel.

This is the way his death was treated by Nicholas Kristof in the Times. “Larijani was a top regime figure and now we may lack a strong counterpart with whom negotiate peace. With each success we are mired further.”

Here’s the way ABC television’s anchor David Muir treated this news in its entirety.

“A top Iranian leader was killed today…Gasoline in New York is up 35 cents”

Prediction: Trump is ready to blink and give up the war to Iran.

Here’s how Trump will handle it.

 “In the greatest, bestist victory in the history of the United States, I’ve decided to listen to the pleas for my mercy from Iran and allow them to continue to live. This after a war we easily won a month ago.

Iran has given me every indication that they will soon name me their King. I may insist they make me Emperor.

And now, on to those troublemakers Cuba and Greenland.”

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 IT’S AMAZING WHAT BEING AGAINST THE WAR IN IRAN CAN DO FOR YOUR CAREER

JOE KENT

Had you heard of Joe Kent before Last week? Neither had I.

The only Kent I had ever heard of was Clark Kent and that was because he was Superman.

Joe Kent it turns out was just another jew hater. He headed up The National Counterterrorism Center. Whatever the hell that is. And he resigned his job with a letter stating he was against the war with Iran and then he went on to claim on crazy Tucker Carlson's Podcast.that Israel manipulated Trump into going to war with Iran. The New York Times now has fallen in love with Kent and he is all over their opinion columns.

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A WAR AT MY HOUSE

Why is it that when a couple is married for 10 years or more, the wife decides she knows better than the husband what’s best for him.

It’s never the other way around. I would never tell My Wife The Beautiful Judy Licht what to do but she is always telling me what’s wrong with me, what to do about it, and how to live.

What is it with women?

They want to share everything.

Years ago Judy’s doctor gave her a pill for bone density. She insisted I needed the same pill or my arms were going to fall off.

Once She went on a fad diet where they delivered a

black pouch to our front door containing teeny weeny portions of food I wouldn’t give to our dog and she insisted I go on the same diet.

Judy now does an hour of water aerobics every day. And that would leave me wet and breathless. Naturally, she want’s me to exercise the same way .

I’m fighting back. I now wear a tee shirt that reads:

EXERCISE HARD

EAT RIGHT

DIE ANYWAY

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MY SECRET FAVORITE FOOD

I once ate pressed duckling at a famous restaurant in France named La Tour d’Argent.Before the ducks arrived, a haughty French captain handed each of us, at the table, a certificate with a number on it.

That was the official number of each individual persons duck. The ducks each had a little metal tag with a number on it tied around their tiny ankles, near their cute little webbed feet before they went to meet their maker.

Apparently each duck had a number to tell us all how special each individual duck they served was. The duck tasted like, well, it tasted like duck, although I remember everyone at the table raved that it was the best duck they had ever tasted. I kept thinking about the number and if the ducks milled around and stare up at the Duck Press. And did Donald tell Daisy “Here they come for me I guess my number is up.”

I remembered being quite tipsy and asking my waiter if I could have a duck with an unlisted number. The waiter gave me his best “All Americans are fools” little smile and said, “Sir every duck we serve at La Tour D’Argent has a number since the first duck was served to Edward VII in 1890. We have served 1.2 million ducks.”

God the French are creepy when it comes to food.

Is Tour d’Argent a frightining word in the duck world?

I believe so. On Bastille Day go to David’s Lane in East Hampton where all the ducks on the East End live and announce out loud that you are a talent scout for La Tour d’Argent.

Then watch those little suckers scatter.

The most expensive meal I have ever had was in Italy when my host ordered a pasta with a butter and olive oil and incredible grated cheese. And then the waiter started slicing a whole truffle on my pasta. I remember thinking that a truffle is the only thing that size that is more expensive than cocaine. Each paper thin translucent slice of truffle hit my pasta and the sound I heard was a cash register ringing

I truly love food and once sat down alone at the counter of a Japanese restaurant in California drank Sake and cold Japanese beer and ordered everything in sight.when the bill arrived it was over 300 dollars just for me.

The chefs all shouted “Arigato gozaimasu”. Which As I left, in my sake soaked state, I was sure meant, “Dumb American shmuck doesn’t know when to stop eating.”

Why am I saying this? Because I want you all to know how much I love food and I want you to know what my favorite food in the world is. There is nothing, truffles lobster, numbered duck – Nothing in the world I enjoy more than a Sausage Egg McMuffin at MacDonald’s..

A McMuffin costs less than four bucks Try one for breakfast today. Get to MacDonalds before 11am Those dumb bastards only sell the McMuffin, the world’s greatest food, for breakfast.